Hipster Hell

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Episode RAB2
Hipster Hell

Reed2-Train.jpg
I'm on a Choo Choo Train!

Blogger Reed
Date Posted September 3rd, 2008
URL old.LG15.com
Description Yet another trend that makes no sense to me.
Location(s) Reed's loft
YouTube Tags reed rules tight pants eyeliner loft chicago reedabook99


Music "The Shocker" by Warner Drive
Cast
Reed Brett Ryback
Adjacent Blogs
Previous "The Beginning of the Beginning"
Next "Pants Pants Revolution"
Directly after "Fun Things to Do in Hiding - Volume Dos!"
Directly before "Fun Things to Do in Hiding - Volume Three!"

Hipster Hell is the fifth prologue video of LG15: The Resistance.

Transcript

(Intro sequence with Reed making faces and the screen changing color. The words "Reed's Rules" appear on the sides of the screen.)

Reed: Hey Hipsters!

(Cut to Reed dressed as a stereotypical follower of the Hipster trend.)

Hipster Reed: (running fingers through his hair.) Uh... I just wanna like... I dunno... Talk about...um...

Reed: Ugh. Why can't you try to form a complete sentence every once in a while. The Hipster trend: I don't get it. I don't get it, and I don't think I ever will get it. Let me start with 'guy-liner' (Shows Hipster Reed putting on eye-liner). Just because you put the word 'guy' in front of it, does not make it okay for dudes to wear. The skin-tight, skinny-jean fad (Cut to Hipster Reed flexing in spandex pants, then clutching his groin and saying "Ow") What is that really about? I need to know what religion you are? It just makes you look like something that Hot Topic threw Up. (Cut to Hipster Reed making a train noise) What's with the conductor hat? You're not on a train. Isn't it like, part of your credo to not have any direction and be all aimless. It's like "totally rad"; Not caring about how you look is "dope". (Cut to Hipster Reed with his arms out and a forced smile) Hey dude. (Cut to Hipster Reed sighing) Nice vintage shirt. Wow. That Hall and Oats concert in '86 must ave really rocked! Oh, wait, that's right, you weren't even actually at the concert. No, in fact, you just spent sixty dollars - sixty bucks - on a T-shirt. What is that really about? Here's a really good idea. Why don't you go to the Hardware store, get yourself a can of spray paint, and just spray it all over your chest and your legs. Just go at yourself (Cut to Hipster Reed spray-painting himself) Just go at yourself all the way, top to bottom. You're going to look even more emaciated. Nice tie. (Cut to Hipster Reed fixing his tie) That makes you look really professional. What's that? Oh, wait, oh! You're just going to a dive bar where they serve, like, two-dollar bud lights. Wow. How Faux-Trailer-Trash ironic of you. It's hypocritical. The elitism of it all. Be yourself.

Notes