The Ceremony Girl?! - NBR Investigates
|The Ceremony Girl?! - NBR Investigates|
|Date Posted||April 16th, 2007|
|Description|| I think I found the ceremony girl!!
A special thanks to Kira! It was a pleasure having you in the vid.
|Location(s)|| Nikki Bower's house, Chili's|
|YouTube Tags||nikkibowerreport nikki lonelygirl15 bree danielbeast jonas callmejules24 piglet enochian|
|Producer(s)|| Amanda Goodfried|
|Director(s)|| Amanda Goodfried|
|Camera|| Amanda Goodfried|
|Vidplay|| Amanda Goodfried|
|Story|| Amanda Goodfried and Alli Danziger|
|Editor(s)|| Amanda Goodfried|
|Previous||"Following the Drugs - NBR Investigates"|
|Next|| "Bucking Broncos - NBR Investigates"|
|Directly after|| "About The Gun"|
|Directly before||"New Girl"|
(Nikki B is sitting in a chair looking disheveled. She has a brightly colored blanket wrapped around her.)
Nikki: Hey guys, it's Nikki B here. I was really struck by that last video. And I have been up all night. Researching... thinking. We all knew something was up with Alex. We did. She was a little fishy. But I cannot believe what happened. BDJ... betrayed again. You know, you should never trust a woman who dresses like a human pinata. (Looks down at her own colorful blanket)
(Cut to shot of Nikki B without the blanket. She is wearing a white shirt.)
Nikki: And Jonas, what was with the gun? Uch! It shocked me. Because the only gun I wanted to see on you were... you know... the (Makes a muscle)... your like guns. You know like... which way to the guns show? So you're probably wondering why Nikki B looks so disheveled. I have been doing research. Alex said that they no longer need Bree anymore. That they found another girl. Say what? They're looking for a new girl! That is news! (Nods) What does this mean for Bree? I mean, they've been hunting her down for months... preparing her for this ceremony. Are we ever going to see this ceremony? I mean... now and suddenly there's this new girl. What is going on here? (Gets excited) What is going on here?? I've had a lot of coffee.
So, maybe there's another girl out there who they've been injecting with EPOGEN. See, I told you. It's all about the drugs. So Nikki B decided to put her investigative skills to work. I decided to go back to the very beginning... to YouTube of course! So I decided to see if there were any other young girls out there preparing for the ceremony.
In my search, I found a lot of interesting things. I've seen a lot of cats... cats doing funny things. (Camera pans to Nikki's computer, on which she has a clip of a cat from YouTube playing) Cats that look like Hitler. They call them "Kitlers." Psycho birds... (Clip of a parrot called "My Psycho Birds" plays) toddlers... (Clip of a toddler rolling around on the floor, called "GNARLS BARKLEY CRAZY TODDLER" plays) Sanjaya... (Clip of Sanjaya from American Idol plays).
(Nikki now has on a lab coat and glasses)
Nikki: So earlier this morning as the sun was rising... (Quick shot of a notepad, on which Nikki has scribbled "Nikki *hearts* Jonas") the crows were crowing... the roosters were (cock-a-doodle-doo)ing, I was still awake... researching... investigating. (Pours herself a cup of coffee) I was on my third pot of Yuban, when I came across a fresh-faced youngster, talking about her life.
(Nikki is no longer wearing the lab coat or glasses)
Nikki: So I found a girl who goes by the name of callmejules24. (Quick shot of callmejules24's YouTube profile) She's fresh-faced... down-to-earth... articulate. There's no nudity... no swear words. Qualities that are sometimes hard to find on these video sites. Now, she looks pretty innocent and cute to the... average viewer. But I'm Nikki B! So I was lookin' for clues. Her name is Julia, but she tells you in three different languages that you can call her Jules. Her parents are making her study languages... Spanish... French... German... and get this... one you (Air quotes) probably never heard of. Hello?? Enochian! So, she didn't say Enochian. But come on! To an investigative reporter like me, it's pretty obvious.
So Jules also talks about reading some book. And how she relates to the main character because the character is like a prisoner and she feels like a prisoner... yadda yadda yadda. You guys remember... Bree felt like a prisoner in her home... and you know, she read a lot. So on to our second vid. It doesn't really fit the formula, but bear with me. The video is a response to another VLogger, dmurawski. She talks about her cat Piglet... and she raps. Remember the Grillz video, people? (Nikki smiles widely, revealing the tinfoil she has wrapped on her teeth). The parallel between the two is just... eerie.
Okay, so let's backtrack for a sec. I made a list of similarities between Bree and this Jules character. First off, drugs. (Camera pans to a yellow notepad, on which Nikki has made a list. The visible page is stained and has scribbles in the margins.) Well, technically we haven't seen drugs yet with Jules, but I have a suspicion. So we'll leave that... we'll leave that one open for a second. Language... check. Stuffed animals... well Bree had P Monkey and Owen of course. Jules has a cat... which is an animal... and it's fat. I'm gonna give that a check... because I think that goes under stuffed animals. Dull life equals prisoner... check. And uh... both of their fathers encourage them to study... and study numerous languages. Uh, a check. And check again and check again. So we're just gonna wait about the drugs... and see what happens.
Callmejules24. (Nods) You heard it here first. This is Nikki B (Salutes) signing off.
(Camera now cuts to Nikki, looking much more polished. She appears to be standing outside of some sort of restaurant, with a waitress named Kira.)
Nikki: So after my late night of investigating, I was a bit hungry. So I decided to come grab a bite to eat. And it turns out my waitress was very knowledgable about Bree and Daniel. My mentor, Nancy Drew says, "When you see an opportunity, reach out and grab it."
(Reaches over and hugs Kira, grinning madly)
Nikki: So, since I've been up all night... I'm so tired... maybe Kira here might trigger something in me that I haven't thought of. (To Kira) So I'm going to ask you some questions and you just have to answer the first thing that comes to mind.
Nikki: Alright! Daniel or Jonas?
Nikki: Beanie or sombrero?
Kira: Uh... beanie!
Nikki: Modafinil or ointment?
Nikki: Bree's mom or Bree's dad?
Kira: Um, Bree's mom.
Nikki: Alex or Lucy?
Nikki: Owen or P Monkey?
Kira: Uh... P Monkey!
Nikki: First word that comes to mind when I say these people.... Bree!
Kira: Uhmm.... I dunno.
Kira: Um... scary!
Kira: Um... um... unintelligible.
Nikki: That was actually... that was really... that last one was very good. (Jots down notes on a piece of paper) Bree and Jonas -- are they brother and sister?
Nikki: Your Guiltless Chicken Sandwich -- is it really guiltless?
Kira: It is guiltless. (Nods)
Nikki: Nikki Bower, is she your favorite reporter?
Kira: Of course!
Nikki: That's really... that's like... that made me feel good. Let's hug it out.
Nikki: My lunch at Chili's has proved very successful. I think I got some very insightful information. (Looks at Kira) Who woulda thunk it?
Kira: Not me... I certainly wouldn't.
Nikki: Not me. Anyways, friends. Until next time, this is Nikki B and Kira (They both salute the camera), signing off.
- The fact that Bree responds to this episode seems to canonize Nikki B. (along with Julia) in the eyes of the Breeniverse, despite earlier assurances from the Creators that she is not canon.
- For more information on the Kitlers that Nikki Bower mentions go to http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com
- The word 'Meep' used in the word game is most likely a reference to a word frequently, if randomly, used in the comment sections for videos. The word was first introduced by user RebelGoddess in a quote from a Terry Pratchett book, and rapidly gained in popularity.