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Template:KMBlog Spiders is the fifth video in the KateModern video series.


(Shot of a half finished building and a crane next to it. Cuts to show Tariq standing in the middle of a semi-busy street wearing a suit and tie. )

Tariq: (mumbles) Good tie. (Louder) Why did you bring that?

Gavin: Come on Tariq, mate, I thought the idea was to capture every moment from the beginning?

Tariq: Gav, your idea was to capture every moment, I just wanna get on with it.

(Camera looks Tariq up and down while Gavin tuts)

Tariq: So where's this office space then?

(Shot of a row of house in a small suburban area)

Gavin: Who'd have thought that this is where it all began? (laughs)

(Camera turns to show Tariq looking disgusted.)

Tariq: Gavin...

Gavin: Hey, I'm not doing this for me mate. I'm doing it for prosperity.

(Gavin is now in shot with his arm around Tariq's shoulder)

Gavin: Last week, me and Tariq quit our jobs to embark on a top secret business venture. And here we are, day one, sortin' out a new office.

(Tariq is walking down the road in front of Gavin who is now back behind the camera)

Gavin: It's not just a dusty old garage! This has gotta be our-our perfect corporate headquarters!

(Gavin talking to the camera)

Gavin: Sorry folks, I think my co-CEO is a little bit moody this morning. (Checks behind him) Woman trouble.

(Gavin has caught up to Tariq)

Gavin: Come on son. Lighten up!

Tariq: Sort your tie out, man.

Gavin: What d'you mean?

(Shot of Tariq on Aunt Joan's front step)

Tariq: Are you sure she'll be alright with it?

Gavin: Yeah of course she will. She'll be a pushover.

(Gavin rings the doorbell, his Aunt Joan opens the door)

Aunt Joan: Ah!

Gavin: Hi, Auntie Joan.

(Tariq is now holding the camera and playing with a lamp as he, Gavin and Aunt Joan sit in the living room.)

Gavin: So Auntie Joan, as you know, er, I've quit my job and we'd love to use your garage as our new office space. Ah, we're still working on a business plan.

Aunt Joan:...And your cash flow projections?

Gavin: (Laughs nervously) I-I don't know.

Aunt Joan: If you don't know about your cash flow, then how will you know how much rent you can pay?

(Tariq zooms in on Gavins face as he looks horrified at the prospect of having to pay rent)

Gavin: Rent!?

Aunt Joan: I'll go and make a pot of tea for you.

(Talking to Tariq)

Gavin: Yeah well don't worry 'bout it mate, ok, I've...I've got a plan B.

Tariq: What? We pay in gardening?

(Cut to shot of Tariq in a back garden with a spade in hand and his suit jacket off)

Tariq: I was only joking!

Gavin: Aw, come onnn! You missed-you missed a bit there...I-it's not forever! And just think about what we're getting for it!

(Cut to a shot of an old garage filled with cardboard boxes and other junk)

Tariq: I thought you said it was perfect?

Gavin: Well, (Sighs) look. (Walks in) What-what do they call it on DIY shows? Eh? It's a fixer upper!

Tariq: Urgh! (Tariq recoils in fear)

Gavin: What?

Tariq: Spiders!

(Gavin laughs)


  • This is the first KateModern video that Tariq and Gavin appear in.
  • This is the first KM video to contain more than one character.