Difference between revisions of "Whodunit?"

Latest revision as of 01:14, 26 March 2009

Whodunit? is the two-hundred ninety-sixth webisode in the KateModern video series. It is also the one-hundred forty-first video of season two.

Transcript

Text: KateModern contains products which have been included within the show on behalf of Toyota

(The camera pans up Lauren sitting on the hotel room bed. She looks up and the camera pans to Julia, who looks at the camera. Anthony turns the camera on himself.)

Anthony: So. Don't have to be Quincy to figure it out, do ya? It had to be someone who had access to the Aygo. And the keys were in the room with us lot all that night, so... had to be one of us.

(Cut to Lauren. The camera zooms out and pans to Julia.)

Julia: It was Steve.

(The camera pans to Lauren.)

Lauren: We were looking through some of our old videos to see if we could find anything that might help us. When we went to pick Steve up, before we came here, he was talking to someone. Do you remember? Well, we didn't realize at the time, but the guy that he was talking to was the same guy that... that tried to kill him and Jonas. The guy that Steve ended up shooting.

Julia: Basically, we think he was blackmailed or something; he was forced into it.

(Steve enters, carrying a bag of groceries.)

Steve: Evening, all. (Shuts the door) What?

Anthony: Think we need to have a little chat, lad.

Steve: What about?

Anthony: Look, we know, alright?

Steve: Know what?

Anthony: That it was you! That it was you what taxed that painting!

Steve: You've gotta be joking, right?

Lauren: It's alright, we know that you were forced into it. (Gets up and walks over to Steve.) We saw you with that hitman from the Order the night before we came here. (Steve chuckles.) And how did you know to go to the gallery on Sunday when none of us had told you about the the plan? What were you doing there?

Julia: How come you mysteriously disappeared for that time on Sat- on Sunday?

Steve: Cause I was looking for you, you ungrateful cow!

Anthony: Well how comes you had that flyer for the Michelle Clore viewing when those French lads searched ya?

Steve: I don't know! I just had it, didn't I?

Lauren: It's alright. I can see that you've been down for the last few days. You've had something on your mind.

Anthony: And you went missing on Sunday night and all.

Steve: Look, I didn't do anything, okay?

(Steve pauses, appearing to choke back tears. He sets the groceries on the bed and sits down.)

Steve: I swear I didn't do anything. You're right. I did speak to that guy from the Order and, yes, he did ask me to steal the painting. (Cut to Julia looking concerned. She looks at the camera and back at Steve.) I couldn't do it.

Lauren: It's alright. (Cut to Steve with Lauren sitting next to him.) Tell us what happened.

Steve: The guy from the Order, the cab driver... (Laughs.) said that if I... if I didn't do it then he was gonna come after every one of us when we got back to England. (Lauren looks at the camera, which zooms out and pans to Julia.) Said he was gonna make sure we were paid for what I did. I'm sorry. (Sighs.) I couldn't do it. And now, Charlie's gonna live in prison, we're all gonna die, and the curse of Steve starts again.

Anthony: Oh, bullshit!

Steve: I couldn't even nick a penny sweet from a pick and mix. How was I gonna go about stealing a precious piece of art work? I mean, yeah, I did look into it. I tried. I didn't even know where to start. And now we're all in danger. Okay.

(Steve moves the back and repositions himself on the bed. Cut to a close up of Lauren. She looks at the camera and turns back to Steve.)

Steve: But the Order's obviously desperate to get their hands on this painting. (Cut to Steve.) Which means that maybe they didn't ask just me to get the painting. Maybe they asked other people, as well.

(Steve looks at Lauren. They both look at Julia and the camera pans to her and back to Steve.)

Steve: Or maybe it has nothing to do with the Order. Maybe someone stole the painting out of pure greed. How much do we know about him? (Points at Anthony.) Huh?

Anthony: You what?

Steve: I mean, you pretty much insinuate yourself as a criminal in Lee's video.

Anthony: Come off it, lad. I'm more a hubcaps and snide sellings kind of guy, me.

Steve: (Jumps up.) Yeah, maybe that's exactly what you wanted us to-to believe. Maybe the smartest guys in the room is actually pretending to be stupid so that he gets off being accused.

Anthony: Yeah, who are you calling stupid there, lad?

Steve: Then where were you? On Saturday, after you were talking to Julia's minder? Hm? (Lauren turns to Anthony.) And on Sunday, as well, when you went off for those beers?

Anthony: Alright, first of all, I was talking to that fella 'cause I was trying to get (Pans to Julia.) madame here out of bother, wasn't I? (Julia glares at the camera and he pans back to Steve.) Eh? Do you remember I was in the flat with her, Steve?

Steve: Yeah, alright. What about Sunday?

Anthony: I got lost, you bell-end! I was half-cut and I can't read French road signs, what do you expect?

Julia: Well then, how come you were asking about the artwork when I was in the flat with you?

Anthony: Aw, give over. I ask one sodding question? Are you that fuckin' simple? Can't believe that kid he can stand to be mates with ya's. Ya ever thought that maybe the bizzies have got it right already? You know, maybe golden girl did nick it. It was in her car.

Lauren: No way.

Anthony: Well, she's quit her job. And she seemed pretty sure you wouldn't be having any more bother from the Order. Alright, maybe she was gettin' herself something to bargain with.

Steve: You're wrong!

Anthony: Yeah, maybe so. But we don't seem to be ruling anything else out, do we?

Lauren: So what are we gonna do now?

Julia: Turn it off.

Notes