Grabbed By The Bells

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Episode 141/1x141
Grabbed By The Bells

I'm a Muslim Santa!

Blogger Gavin
Date Posted December 19th, 2007
Length 3:45
Description Remind me not to leave the house again. You won't believe who I bumped into!
Location(s) London
YouTube Tags KateModern LG15 lonelygirl15 Gavin
Production Credits
Executive Producer(s) Miles Beckett and Greg Goodfried
Co-Executive Producer(s) Joanna Shields and Amanda Goodfried
Associate Producer(s) Cristy Coors Beasley
Series Producer(s) Pete Gibbons
Line Producer Kelly Brett
Production Co-Ordinator Claire Finbow
Interactive Co-ordinator(s) Jonathan Almond
Production Runner(s) Meryl Iona Edwards
Director(s) Gavin Rowe (BigBalls Films)
Head Writer Luke Hyams
Vidplay Hazel Grian
Story Miles Beckett, Luke Hyams, and Hazel Grian
Editor(s) Yusuf Pirhasan
Gavin Ralf Little
Terrence Matthew Gammie
Tariq Jai Rajani
Adjacent Blogs
Previous "The Sleepover"
Next "The mystery texter"
Previous by Gavin "Help Me Get Charlie"

Grabbed By The Bells is the one-hundred forty-first webisode in the KateModern video series.


(Gavin is outside, looking at a mannequin through a store window. He pans the camera to focus on its necklace.)

Gavin: Look at that. Bet Charlie'd love that. Or Auntie Joannie. Imagine the look on Auntie Joan's face if I got her that for Christmas.

Terrence: She'd probably assume you nicked, Gavin. (The camera pans to show Terrence behind Gavin.)

Gavin: U-uh... yeah, yeah. It probably is a bit out of my league, isn't it... Terrence?

Terrence: Yeah. Come on. (Grabs Gavin by the shoulder and pulls him to the corner.) Take a little tip from your old mate Terry, Gavin. Learn to put yourself number one. Take me, for example. I'd never let somebody break into my flat and steal my software, as you did.

Gavin: You... It was you who broke into our flat and stole that list of names! That's really important to Charlie. Sh-Sh- She thought I was in on it! (Puts himself between the camera and Terrence.) See, I-I told you I wasn't in on it! (Puts the camera back on Terrence.) Terrence, mate, this plan we had, it-it's not gonna work. Charlie's gonna kill me if I can't get that list of names back to her.

Terrence: Don't care what's on it, do I, Gavin? What's important to me is that it might be important to someone's head I want to stamp on; i.e. our bald friend.

Gavin: A-a-about this Order thing... I- I... We should probably just leave it.

Terrence: Oh? Really? Look, I don't know who the Order are. All I know is they've got our software and I want it back. Our bald friend stepped on my toes already, and I'll teach him - and his firm - a proper lesson.

Gavin: Terrence, wait... You can't mess with them. You just don't get it, do you? What are you gonna do to him?

Terrence: You want to get along in this world, Gavin, you've gotta have bigger balls. (Laughs.) Let's just say that, when I catch up with him, he'll have a, uh, a very chilly Christmas. (Walks away.)

Gavin: Shit. (Pans the camera to his face.) He's... He's gonna do something to the Watcher and then they're gonna come after me. And-and then I'm gonna die! (Pans the camera down the street after Terrence and back again.) I'm a dead man!

(Gavin walks down the street. Cut to Tariq dressed as Santa, ringing a bell and holding a sign saying "Ladies 2-4-1 Cocktails". Gavin is watching him from further up the street.)

Gavin: You know what? Just when you think your life is absolute shit, you're given a little glimmer of hope. And voila! You're cheered up again. (Laughs.) Look at this poor sod. Eh? What a miserable tosser. And he's got to ring his bell; the poor guy.

(Tariq lowers his beard.)

Gavin: Hey, hold on. I can't believe it; it's-it's Mister Julia. (Walks toward Tariq.) It's baldy! It's Tariq! (Tariq turns away, embarrassed. Gavin laughs at him.)

Tariq: You can't just come here and make jokes to me, okay? After everything you did...

Gavin: What? Isn't that what Christmas is all about? Come on. Come on, let me sit on your knee. Or-or are you not allowed to touch children after the grotto incident of last year? Come on, I'll bring- I'll bring some mistletoe for your elves. (Laughs and kisses Tariq on the cheek.)

Tariq: (Laughs.) Ho-ho-bleeding Christmas. Yeah, Merry Christmas to you, cruel bastard.

Gavin: (Laughing.) Oh, dear. Aww, I'm really pleased to see you, you know, mate?

Tariq: Yeah?

Gavin: I've been in a spot of bother, actually.

Tariq: Oh yeah? What is it now?

Gavin: Well, Charlie's left me and she won't do anything except swear at me. And... Then there's that mad bastard Terrence, who thinks he can take on the Watcher. Honestly, he-he's gonna do something serious to him and I'm the one who's gonna get the payback. I'm going to end up as mince meat, mate.

Tariq: Man, I can't believe the mess you've got yourself into. Gavin, I can't do anything to help you. I mean, look at me! I've got my own problems. You think your life is a mess? I'm a 24-year-old Muslim man dressed as Santa!

Gavin: (Laughs.) Yeah. You- You know what? You're right. It is pretty bad. Here, give us that; I'll swap you.

(Tariq films Gavin putting on the Santa hat.)

Tariq: And the sign as well.

(Cut to Gavin wearing the Santa hat, holding Tariq's sign, and ringing the bell.)

Gavin: Cocktails... (Laughing.) Cocktails!