Vlogging: A Definitive Guide
|Vlogging: A Definitive Guide|
|Date Posted||February 9th, 2010|
|URL|| youtube.com |
|Description|| Here's some tips for my hypothetical replacement.|
|Location(s)|| Mason's House|
|YouTube Tags||lg15 lonelygirl15 outbreak resistance bree daniel jonastko danielbeast mason crystal will order shentek hymn of one episode five vlogging guide green|
|Executive Producer(s)|| EQAL|
|Producer(s)|| Gregory Austin McConnell|
|Director(s)|| Gregory Austin McConnell|
|Director of Photography|| Gregory Austin McConnell|
|Story|| Gregory Austin McConnell|
|Editor(s)|| Gregory Austin McConnell|
|Mason||Gregory Austin McConnell|
|Next|| "The Date"|
|Previous by Mason|| "Until Next Time"|
|Next by Mason||"Because I Left"|
(Mason videotapes his cat, Moses, chasing a mouse, and cheers them on to catch it. The mouse runs underneath a cabinet, and Moses stops and stares. Mason puts the camera down on the ground. Cut to the camera picked up again.)
Mason: Alright lets flush it out Moses. (Noises heard in the background like something is being moved. Moses goes over to the side of the cabinet and watches as Mason moves it out from the wall. Mason peers behind.) There's no mouse. (He puts the camera down on the ground and uses the zoom to try and find it. He picks up a broom and begins hitting it against the ground. He moves a sweatshirt that was lying on the ground next to the cabinet and the mouse runs out.) There it is! Get it! Get it! Moses, its right in front of you, get it! (Moses stands still) Why are you ignoring it? Get it! (Attempts to hit the mouse with the broom handle. The mouse runs and Mason nudges Moses, urging it to get it.)
(Cut to Mason sitting down in front of a closet door.)
Mason: Hello again, people of cyberspace. Miss me? The last time that you and I spoke I was announcing my retirement from the national web sensation known as 'vlogging' - and I fully intend to hold fast on that promise - but before I go I though I'd leave you with one last little video to give you some tips in case any of you wish to take up this great endeavor of explaining and expounding to the internet masses exactly what's happening in the world. You see, I got to thinking - once I officially take my leave then the spot will be open for finding the next great funny, witty, snarky-but-strangely-lovable web personality. And seeing how the only replacements seem to consist of a crazy, taco-eating conspiracy-theorist, a girl with a weird hat, some British chick and an old guy - I'd say we got out work cut out for us. (whispers) Love you V.G. (Makes a "call me" gesture and goes back to regular speaking volume.) So in order to assist you all in your constant quest of finding the perfect vlog, I decided I'd put together a quick little video tutorial. These four tips are proven to work - if you apply them to your videos they should be awesome. Plus incredibly cliché, but still. That never really stopped anyone before did it? Never stopped me before. Or did it? I can't remember. (Cut to closeups of sections of Mason's lg15.com page.) The first step if you're going to blog is quite simple - you have to talk about your feelings. (Cut briefly back to Mason sighing.) You have to come up with some way to let people know exactly what you're doing at every specific moment of the day. And you have to make it sound interesting. You have to actually say what you're feeling, and tell people exactly, well, what's going on inside. (Cut back to Mason) After you figure out what you wanna vlog about, you can now move on to the more technical things. The second aspect of creating a great video blog is, of course, the jump-cut. The jump-cut allows you to overturn monotony. In other words it can be used as a technique to make your videos more interesting. How? Simple. If you edit your videos to where you're jumping around the frame a lot, the viewer will be more entertained because they'll be able to see you here, then here, then here, then back here, back here, and back to stage blocking one. The reason you should use a jump-cut is simple, because now its more exciting and you don't have to just sit down, set the camera in front of you, have this static shot - You just telling people how your day went. Now they're going to be really excited because everything's cutting back-and-forth at a high-rate - moving at a fast pace. Even if you originally didn't shoot it that way. Another great thing about the jump-cut is that it allows you to contrive a situation where, if you can't get all of your thoughts together in one coherent sentence. You can jump back in time and everyone will just assume that you know exactly what you were going to say and no one will know the difference. Much like cheating on an Algebra test by using a calculator when you're not supposed to, the jump-cut allows you to appear more intelligent than you actually are. Which should be great for a lot of you guys out there. The next thing that you can do to make your blogs more interesting is, of course, the time lapse. The time lapse is great because it allows you to do a whole lot of things in a very short period of time to create that kind of space in between the videos where you can talk while more things are happening than just your boring face. Kinda like this -
(Time lapse montage of Mason getting up and going off screen, returning without his jacket on, and lifting a weights. He gets up and returns, wiping off his arms, then goes to put the wiping cloth away. Returning, he uses his iPhone, makes a phone call, then throws a weight up in the air in slow motion.)
Mason: Wow, wasn't that exciting? Sometimes, to make them more interesting, you can actually add a voice-over and talk about something while the time lapse is going on. That way, you can actually fit useful bits of information into the video while extraneous actions are taking place. And on that note, make sure that you have a really, really awesome music track. Now this music track is important because it can't ever be speaking any kind of words, it always has to be some kind of upbeat kind of hip-hop beat to keep the mood going, to keep the people entertained and to make sure that everybody's happy. (sigh) Glad this is my last one. No offense. Anyway, now that my life has returned to some small amount of normalcy I'm going to do the responsible thing and go back to work. Oh, yes, and I did see yesterday's video, and I am aware that Will is going on a date with my sister, and, to be honest, I think it's more funny than anything - Sad really. (Takes a drink of bottled water.) Anyway, she's a big girl, she can take care of herself, and since they're probably not going to be watching this regardless because they both hate me (Breathes in through teeth) it really doesn't matter what I think, so I'll just make fun of both of them. Actually, I really don't want to make fun of Crystal...but I'll make fun of Will. After all - everybody's doing it, right? (Cut to Mason wearing glasses and doing an impression of Will) Hey Crystal, it's um, it's Will. And I, uh, I, uh (stutters) I know you're still upset at me because, uh, I posted, uh, a lot of personal information about you and your brother online, but uh (stutters) I wanna make up for it. So (stutters) Here's my fish! (Back to Mason) Yeah, that's a way to get a girl to like you - introduce her to your fish. (Will impression) Okay, well, if you wanna- If you wanna do something sometime (stutters) Just let me know. Okay, well, uh (stutters and begins hyperventilating. Back to Mason) Why are you so obnoxiously nervous all the time? It's (Pauses and puts his hand up) It's not my problem anymore. (Sings, makes a wee noise.) Freedom! (Normal speaking voice) Okay, well, I hope you all have an amazing life, and it was good knowing you. (Takes a long drink of water out of a jar.) Not really.
(Quick sweeps of the kitchen looking for the mouse.)
Mason: (To Moses) Where is it?
- Due to a tag on the video, the several flashes of green seen in the video are a puzzle. It has yet to deciphered. For more information, see LG15: Outbreak puzzles.
- The four users Mason references as the candidates for taking his place are community members mitchcontrol, ValleyGirl15, FaffyFoo and ApotheosisAZ respectively.
- Mason's shout-out to ValleyGirl15 is odd because ValleyGirl15 reviews LG15 shows from a meta perspective, and has made countless references to how LG15: Outbreak is a show in a franchise.