Difference between revisions of "Fictionality"

Latest revision as of 19:55, 17 February 2009

Fictionality is the two-hundred sixty-fifth webisode in the KateModern video series. It is also the one-hundred tenth video of season two.

Transcript

(Lee zooms out from the statue in front of the new flat. Cut to Lee.)

Lee: Hiya. Not really sure I should be saying this, but I'm really worried about Gavin; I th- I think there's something seriously wrong with him. We went to the job centre this morning to sign on and... well, I-- I don't- I don't know how to explain it... Well, just watch this.

(Cut to Lee following Gavin. Gavin is carrying a copy of The Sun.)

Lee: Gavin, what are we doing?

Gavin: (Point to the paper.) I'm gonna blow this thing wide open, mate. I'm gonna blow this thing wide open! Come with me.

Lee: What are you talking about?

Gavin: I'm gonna blow the lid off this whole story, alright? Come on. Wait, there he is. I recognise him. Look, look, look! That's him: Gordon- Gordon- Gordon Smart. For the Sun. Come on. (Runs after Gordon.) Gordon! Gordon! Wait a sec, mate! Wait, wait. Are you- Is this you? Gordon Smart?

Gordon: Yeah, that's me, yeah.

Gavin: Yeah? I've got something I really need to tell you. Honestly, it's brilliant.

Gordon: Yeah, alright. If you got a story, mate, just get an officer, you know?

Gavin: No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no. This is brilliant. This is the story of a lifetime. Please, please?

Gordon: Alright, um... Go on, make it- make it quick, because I-

Gavin: I- Alright, w-w-w-well, uh, ca-can we go inside? You know, walls have ears and all that, you know?

Gordon: If you got something to tell me, just tell me here. Go for it. Go on.

Gavin: Uh, I- Uh- All- Okay, okay, okay. Uh-uh-uh, um... Okay, fine. The- Uh... There w- Okay. There's this girl- there was this girl, and she, uh, died. Right, n- B- Fo- No, before th- before that. Forget that. She- There- there was this girl--

Gordon: Mate, I've got a ten o'clock meeting...

Gavin: No-no-no! Wait-wait-wait! There-there was this girl, and she encouraged us, you see, to film things all the time. All the time, filming. All the time. S- Uh, all of us, loads of us, like him (Points at Lee.), me, a-a-always filming. A-a-and posting it online. But here's the thing: sh-sh-she was mixed up in all this r-really weird, uh, uh, blood-thing, you see, an-an-and there was this blood type, where, if-if you drank it, it made you live longer. Or-or-or something. I don't know.

Gordon: Right. Right.

Gavin: And there was this secret organization th-th-that controls everything in the world th-that was killing these girls, you see, for the blood! To-to-to-to drink! You see?

Gordon: Uh, right. Okay.

Gavin: No-no-no! I know it sounds crazy, it sounds crazy, but, well, it's mental, isn't it? B-but- but the thing is this went on for months and months! An-and there was, like, uh, gun fights, an-an-an-and car chases, an-an- But the thing is, one of us was always filming; always filming. An-and posting it online. Do you see?

Gordon: Yeah, go on, then. Yeah, come on, get to the point, mate; hurry up.

Gavin: W-well, uh... Yes, okay. Uh, yeah. Well, uh-the- Well, the- well, the point is- is that she- she got killed, you see? She got killed. An-and there was- there was a big, uh-uh, on-online internet campaign to find out who- who the killer was. An-and people got kidnapped, and we went to this big- this, uh- it was in a bunker!

Gordon: You sure this isn't some kind of a TV show or something, mate?

Gavin: Yes! That's exactly my point, you see? You see? It's all bollocks! It's all bollocks! I mean, it's real for us, but, you see, she's the one who's organizing it all! She's orchestrated the whole thing! She's turned our lives into an internet TV show. Yeah?

Gordon: Right. Okay.

Gavin: Look, look! (Points at Lee.) He's even filming right now! He's filming right now! You see? And then she pretended she's got killed, she's chosen us s-s-so that she can sit back and watch us run around playing some big game of-of Cluedo for their entertainment!

Gordon: Right. Well, that's all very well, but I'm a showbiz editor. What's that got to do with me?

Gavin: Well... Well, that's the thing, you see, because she's turned our lives into a TV show; an internet TV show, like-like The-The Truman Show, and...now my life is show business. I've got people going onto my Bebo page, accusing me of being some professional actor!

Gordon: Of course, mate. Alright, I haven't got time for this, mate. I've got to go. Going now.

Gavin: Well, wait, now, don't you get it?

Gordon: I've got stuff to do.

Gavin: You understand what I'm talking about, don't you?

Gordon: See you, mate. Too busy.

Gavin: Gordon, seriously.

Gordon: See you, mate. Good luck with that, and I mean it.

Gavin: This is real!

Gordon: All the best, mate. All the best. (Heads into the lot.) Yeah.

Gavin: Gordon!

Gordon: See you later, pal.

Gavin: Gordon! (Tries to follow Gordon into the lot.)

Gordon: Cheerio! Ta ta.

(Gavin walks from the building, throwing his edition of The Sun in the trash. He stops across the street and turns to Lee.)

Gavin: Show's over, Lee. Turn- turn the camera off.

Lee: What are you talking about?

Gavin: Go and- Go and post today's episode. Idiot.

Lee: Gavin, I really don't see--

Gavin: It's a show, Lee! It's an internet TV show! Open your eyes; wake up.

(Gavin walks away. Cut to Lee following him.)

Gavin: Fiction and reality. She's blurred fiction and reality, is what she's done. I don't know how she's done it, but she's done it. Fiction and reality. How do I even know I exist? What is this? Fictionality, that's what it is; fictionality.

(Gavin continues walking, but Lee stops and turns the camera on himself. He shakes his head. Cut to Gavin as he turns around the corner.)

Notes

• After this video was released, Gavin made the following revelation on Bebo: