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Episode 265/2x110

People accuse me of being a professional actor!

Blogger Lee
Date Posted May 20th, 2008
Forum 751|3=lg15}}
Length 4:57
Description Gavin wants to go to the papers. I think he needs to go to the doctor's.
Location(s) In front of the new flat, News International
YouTube Tags KateModern LG15 lonelygirl15 Lee
Production Credits
Executive Producer(s) Miles Beckett and Greg Goodfried
Co-Executive Producer(s) Joanna Shields and Amanda Goodfried
On-Set Producer Louis Figgis
Line Producer Kelly Brett
Production Co-Ordinator Claire Finbow
Interactive Co-ordinator(s) Jonathan Almond
Production Runner(s) Meryl Iona Edwards
Director(s) Yusuf Pirhasan
Head Writer Luke Hyams
Vidplay Lawrence Tallis
Story Luke Hyams, Neil Mossey, and Lawrence Tallis
Editor(s) John Palmer
Lee Sam Donovan
Gavin Ralf Little
Gordon Smart Himself
Adjacent Blogs
Previous "I Know"
Next "Straight To The Top"
Previous by Lee "Very Important Lee"
Next by Lee "Bump in the Night"

Fictionality is the two-hundred sixty-fifth webisode in the KateModern video series. It is also the one-hundred tenth video of season two.


(Lee zooms out from the statue in front of the new flat. Cut to Lee.)

Lee: Hiya. Not really sure I should be saying this, but I'm really worried about Gavin; I th- I think there's something seriously wrong with him. We went to the job centre this morning to sign on and... well, I-- I don't- I don't know how to explain it... Well, just watch this.

(Cut to Lee following Gavin. Gavin is carrying a copy of The Sun.)

Lee: Gavin, what are we doing?

Gavin: (Point to the paper.) I'm gonna blow this thing wide open, mate. I'm gonna blow this thing wide open! Come with me.

Lee: What are you talking about?

Gavin: I'm gonna blow the lid off this whole story, alright? Come on. Wait, there he is. I recognise him. Look, look, look! That's him: Gordon- Gordon- Gordon Smart. For the Sun. Come on. (Runs after Gordon.) Gordon! Gordon! Wait a sec, mate! Wait, wait. Are you- Is this you? Gordon Smart?

Gordon: Yeah, that's me, yeah.

Gavin: Yeah? I've got something I really need to tell you. Honestly, it's brilliant.

Gordon: Yeah, alright. If you got a story, mate, just get an officer, you know?

Gavin: No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no. This is brilliant. This is the story of a lifetime. Please, please?

Gordon: Alright, um... Go on, make it- make it quick, because I-

Gavin: I- Alright, w-w-w-well, uh, ca-can we go inside? You know, walls have ears and all that, you know?

Gordon: If you got something to tell me, just tell me here. Go for it. Go on.

Gavin: Uh, I- Uh- All- Okay, okay, okay. Uh-uh-uh, um... Okay, fine. The- Uh... There w- Okay. There's this girl- there was this girl, and she, uh, died. Right, n- B- Fo- No, before th- before that. Forget that. She- There- there was this girl--

Gordon: Mate, I've got a ten o'clock meeting...

Gavin: No-no-no! Wait-wait-wait! There-there was this girl, and she encouraged us, you see, to film things all the time. All the time, filming. All the time. S- Uh, all of us, loads of us, like him (Points at Lee.), me, a-a-always filming. A-a-and posting it online. But here's the thing: sh-sh-she was mixed up in all this r-really weird, uh, uh, blood-thing, you see, an-an-and there was this blood type, where, if-if you drank it, it made you live longer. Or-or-or something. I don't know.

Gordon: Right. Right.

Gavin: And there was this secret organization th-th-that controls everything in the world th-that was killing these girls, you see, for the blood! To-to-to-to drink! You see?

Gordon: Uh, right. Okay.

Gavin: No-no-no! I know it sounds crazy, it sounds crazy, but, well, it's mental, isn't it? B-but- but the thing is this went on for months and months! An-and there was, like, uh, gun fights, an-an-an-and car chases, an-an- But the thing is, one of us was always filming; always filming. An-and posting it online. Do you see?

Gordon: Yeah, go on, then. Yeah, come on, get to the point, mate; hurry up.

Gavin: W-well, uh... Yes, okay. Uh, yeah. Well, uh-the- Well, the- well, the point is- is that she- she got killed, you see? She got killed. An-and there was- there was a big, uh-uh, on-online internet campaign to find out who- who the killer was. An-and people got kidnapped, and we went to this big- this, uh- it was in a bunker!

Gordon: You sure this isn't some kind of a TV show or something, mate?

Gavin: Yes! That's exactly my point, you see? You see? It's all bollocks! It's all bollocks! I mean, it's real for us, but, you see, she's the one who's organizing it all! She's orchestrated the whole thing! She's turned our lives into an internet TV show. Yeah?

Gordon: Right. Okay.

Gavin: Look, look! (Points at Lee.) He's even filming right now! He's filming right now! You see? And then she pretended she's got killed, she's chosen us s-s-so that she can sit back and watch us run around playing some big game of-of Cluedo for their entertainment!

Gordon: Right. Well, that's all very well, but I'm a showbiz editor. What's that got to do with me?

Gavin: Well... Well, that's the thing, you see, because she's turned our lives into a TV show; an internet TV show, like-like The-The Truman Show, my life is show business. I've got people going onto my Bebo page, accusing me of being some professional actor!

Gordon: Of course, mate. Alright, I haven't got time for this, mate. I've got to go. Going now.

Gavin: Well, wait, now, don't you get it?

Gordon: I've got stuff to do.

Gavin: You understand what I'm talking about, don't you?

Gordon: See you, mate. Too busy.

Gavin: Gordon, seriously.

Gordon: See you, mate. Good luck with that, and I mean it.

Gavin: This is real!

Gordon: All the best, mate. All the best. (Heads into the lot.) Yeah.

Gavin: Gordon!

Gordon: See you later, pal.

Gavin: Gordon! (Tries to follow Gordon into the lot.)

Gordon: Cheerio! Ta ta.

(Gavin walks from the building, throwing his edition of The Sun in the trash. He stops across the street and turns to Lee.)

Gavin: Show's over, Lee. Turn- turn the camera off.

Lee: What are you talking about?

Gavin: Go and- Go and post today's episode. Idiot.

Lee: Gavin, I really don't see--

Gavin: It's a show, Lee! It's an internet TV show! Open your eyes; wake up.

(Gavin walks away. Cut to Lee following him.)

Gavin: Fiction and reality. She's blurred fiction and reality, is what she's done. I don't know how she's done it, but she's done it. Fiction and reality. How do I even know I exist? What is this? Fictionality, that's what it is; fictionality.

(Gavin continues walking, but Lee stops and turns the camera on himself. He shakes his head. Cut to Gavin as he turns around the corner.)


  • After this video was released, Gavin made the following revelation on Bebo:
Gavin said:
He's in on it. That guy from The Sun. Gordon. He's in on it all. He knows about it. He sells papers with it. Him and Kate. Sharing the profits.

Him, Kate and Bebo. Making money out of MY LIFE. Bebo. Bebo. Kate. My life. Online. Watching. Being watched. Voyeurs.

Need to talk to Bebo. Someone at Bebo. Whoever runs Bebo is doing this. With Kate. And probably Gordon.