The Day of the Eternal Song

From LGPedia
Jump to: navigation, search
Episode 230/2x075
The Day of the Eternal Song

Shove the Hymn of One up your arse!

Blogger Julia
Date Posted April 7th, 2008
Forum 674|3=lg15}}
Length 6:31
Description Today was a really big day for Rupert and I felt so excited that he asked me to go along too. Unfortunately before the celebrations could even get started we were interrupted by an uninvited guest.
Location(s) The Hymn of One London Centre
YouTube Tags KateModern LG15 lonelygirl15 Julia
Production Credits
Executive Producer(s) Miles Beckett and Greg Goodfried
Co-Executive Producer(s) Joanna Shields and Amanda Goodfried
On-Set Producer Louis Figgis
Line Producer Kelly Brett
Production Co-Ordinator Claire Finbow
Interactive Co-ordinator(s) Jonathan Almond
Production Runner(s) Meryl Iona Edwards
Director(s) Yusuf Pirhasan
Head Writer Luke Hyams
Vidplay Lawrence Tallis
Story Luke Hyams, Neil Mossey, and Lawrence Tallis
Editor(s) John Palmer
Julia Lucinda Rhodes Flaherty
Jeremy Yusuf Pirhasan
Sofina Shuo Zhang
Hymn of One member Liangjing Li
Rupert Van Helden Ronan Summers
Balthazar Louis Figgis
Steve Giles Alderson
Adjacent Blogs
Previous "Precious Blood: 10:30PM"
Next "The Drugs Do Work"
Previous by Julia "Precious Blood: 1PM"
Next by Julia "Mrs Van Helden?"
Directly after "KateModern: Precious Blood Recap"

The Day of the Eternal Song is the two-hundred thirtieth webisode in the KateModern video series. It is also the seventy-fifth video of season two.


(Julia is sitting on a toilet in the women's washroom.)

Julia: Well... Everyone's secret's out. What a weekend. I think it's gonna take everyone a long time to get back to normal. I haven't been able to get hold of Charlie yet, so I hope she's okay. I imagine she's pretty freaked out by the whole thing. So Charlie, if you're watching, can you give me a bell? We need to talk.

I can tell you about Rupert now. I was a bit worried about everyone finding out, but... I think it's the best thing that could have happened. (Grins.) And I'm really happy. Rupert explained all the stuff with Kate and Terrence and the Watcher was nothing to do with the Hymn of One. And, I mean, that's obvious, isn't it?

Anyway, today is a really big day. Huge, in fact. Today is the Hymn of One's Day for Eternal Song. And I am here to help out, 'cause Rupert asked me, and he wants me to meet a few of his friends. Little bit nervous, if I'm honest. But, hey, if they're anything like Rupert, then I have nothing to worry about. Okay, let's go!

(Julia exits the cubicle and walks over to the sinks. She sets the camera down on the counter and checks herself out in the mirror. Cut to Julia walking down the main hall in the Hymn of One Centre. Cut to Julia ascending the staircase to the second story.)

Jeremy: Hi. You must be Julia. (Shakes Julia's hand.)

Julia: Hi, nice to meet you.

Jeremy: Nice to meet you.

(Julia continues up the stairs. She enters the main room, where Rupert and several more Hymn of One members are preparing for the day. Julia walks toward Rupert and is greeted by two girls.)

Hymn of One member: (Extends her hand.) Hi. Very nice to meet you.

Julia: Um, nice to meet you. Yeah.

Hymn of One member: Very nice to meet you. (Shakes Julia's hand.)

Julia: Oh, you, too. Take care.

Rupert: --absolutely imperative that we get to these people before it's too late. There's a lot of people-

Julia: Um, hi; sorry. Hi.

Rupert: (Smiles at Julia.) Hey. This is her.

Balthazar: Okay.

Rupert: Uh... Um, do we- Do we really need the camera in here today?

Julia: Well, honey, I-I wanted to document the event to show everyone how normal you are.

Rupert: (Smiles.) Didn't I tell you she was great? Look, I need my suit in the next hour; so can you get on that straight away? (Balthazar nods.) Yep? (Slaps him on the back.)

Balthazar: Cool.

Rupert: Thank you. (Turns to Julia.)

Julia: Oh, honey, I missed you. (Julia and Rupert hug.)

Rupert: You, too. (Kisses Julia.) Nice to see you.

Julia: Good luck today.

Rupert: Okay. (Kisses Julia.)

(Cut to Rupert walking behind a table covered with glasses filled with different juices, practicing his lecture. The two girls are helping to decorate, and speak Mandarin to each other. Balthazar adjusts the chairs to be perfectly aligned. Cut to the girls decorating and then back to Rupert practicing his lecture.)

Julia: Honey, why don't you say a little something?

Rupert: Yeah. Yeah, why not? Um... Okay, guys, everyone, can you gather round, please? Want to have a quick word. (The Hymn of One members assemble in front of Rupert.) Hey. Um, okay. Well, first, thank you all for coming down and helping out on today. It is the most joyous day in the Hymn of One calendar, so good job for coming down. Um, but if you guys are just here to see me in my silk boxers again, then you're gonna be very mistaken. (One of the girls laughs.) Okay? I'm wearing briefs today.

Um... Seriously, though. Uh, I really do appreciate all of you, um, giving me your support, but I feel like there's a few things that I need to explain to the Hymn of One members. Um, I realize that many of you will have heard me preaching about the virtues of abstinence, and I realize that there are probably those amongst you who think that my behaviour was... dispicable. Hypocritical, at best. Um... And given what you know, you'd be perfectly within your rights to think that. However, there is something else that I did want to share with you guys today.

Steve: Yeah, I'll bet there is.

(Everyone turns to find Steve entering the room.)

Rupert: Steve. Well, guys, this really is a great day! I mean, a-a lost sheep has returned to the flock in time for the celebration.

Steve: No, I don't think so, Rupert. I'm not one of your sheep.

Rupert: Oh, Steve, I didn't mean it-

Steve: No. I'm not one of your flock any more! Blindly following you around, believing everything you say.

Rupert: (Laughs.) Hang on a minute...

Steve: You're all fools. I can't believe it's taken me so long to realize, but I've finally seen the light now. Don't you worry about that.

Rupert: Now, hang on. This is completely out of order.

Steve: Out of order? I'll tell you what's out of order! (Balthazar moves to stop Steve, but Rupert blocks him.) Feeding people lies! Preying on their vulnerabilities! And stopping people living their lives!

Rupert: Now, hang on, that is enough! Alright? If you don't want to be here and be part of our joy, then that is one thing, but-

Steve: Oh, shut up! You smug, pious hypocrite! Did you know that while your esteemed speaker was preaching abstinence, he was having it off with a TV presenter? (Points at Julia.)

Julia: Now, hold on!

Rupert: Come on, if you will just hear me out-

Steve: No, look- I have heard enough. I came here today to tell you to stick your Hymn of One and your stupid special day up your arse.

Rupert: Oh, please, this is a place of worship!

(Steve laughs and backs toward the door.)

Rupert: Steve!

Steve: Piss off. (Exits.)

(Julia pans back to Rupert looking stunned.)

Rupert: Um... Well! I mean, i-if there's ever a warning for people not doing psychotropic drugs before breakfast, then... then that's it. (The Hymn of One members look at Rupert accusingly.) Right. Um... Where was I?


  • With this video comes a new subtitle for the series, "In the Name of KateModern" now that we already know who committed the crime.
  • This video marks one of the rare times that a Hymn of One member uses a non-music metaphor. Rupert calls Steve "a lost sheep" that has "returned to the flock," which is a visual usually associated with Christian teachings.
  • In a newer blog from Steve via his Bebo page, on April 11th he writes the following under the title "Changes":
"This is to let everyone know that I am officially done with the Hymn of One. The whole organisation is a scam designed to control people's mind's and milk them out of their cash. Rupert Van Helden is pious hypocrite and deserves to exposed for the charlatan that he is. I'm gonna make it my mission to do so. To anyone who still believes in the Hymn of Nonsense: Open your eyes. Get out whilst you still have some brain left."