The Dinner Party

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Episode 256/2x101
The Dinner Party

Guess "The Parent Trap" won't work this time...

Blogger Steve
Date Posted May 10th, 2008
Forum 735|3=lg15}}
Length 5:26
Description A celebration of the formation of the Celestial Network it was not...
Location(s) The new flat
YouTube Tags KateModern LG15 lonelygirl15 Steve
Production Credits
Executive Producer(s) Miles Beckett and Greg Goodfried
Co-Executive Producer(s) Joanna Shields and Amanda Goodfried
On-Set Producer Louis Figgis
Line Producer Kelly Brett
Production Co-Ordinator Claire Finbow
Interactive Co-ordinator(s) Jonathan Almond
Production Runner(s) Meryl Iona Edwards
Director(s) Yusuf Pirhasan
Head Writer Luke Hyams
Vidplay Neil Mossey
Story Luke Hyams, Neil Mossey, and Lawrence Tallis
Editor(s) John Palmer
Steve Giles Alderson
Jeremy Yusuf Pirhasan
Lauren Emma Pollard
Lee Sam Donovan
Gavin Ralf Little
Adjacent Blogs
Previous "Hey Jerk, You Work!"
Next "Very Important Lee"
Previous by Steve "The Celestial Network"
Next by Steve "The Naked Truth"

The Dinner Party is the two-hundred fifty-sixth webisode in the KateModern video series. It is also the one-hundred first video of season two.


(Steve raises the camera.)

Steve: Okay.

(Steve turns the camera to Jeremy.)

Steve: Here, take it.

Jeremy: Sure.

(Jeremy takes the camera and turns it to Steve.)

Steve: Are we good?

Jeremy: Yep.

Steve: This week has been... The-the response to my Celestial Network... The number of you who are choosing to connect with me... (The Celestial Network logo flashes on the screen, followed by an overlay of users who have had their pictures posted on the network's page.) ...has just been... And the quality of responses you've sent in to my profile, SteveBelieves, has been... extremely humbling. People from all around the world - uh, people like you, Jeremy - have been connecting with me and the network. I feel it's the start of something very special. And we're gonna keep charting the journey right here.

(Steve walks up to the building and presses the buzzer for the new flat. He sighs and smiles at the camera. Cut to Steve walking up the stairs inside.)

Steve: Tonight I'm meeting some old friends. I don't want to big this up too much, but I'm really looking forward to setting the record straight with someone who really means a big deal to me.

(Steve opens the stairwell door and leads the way to the door of the flat. He knocks, and Lee answers.)

Lee: Hi!

Steve: Hey.

Lee: Hello. Are you here to see Lauren?

(Lauren pushes past Lee and hugs Steve.)

Lauren: Steve, you came!

Steve: Yeah.

Lauren: Look, I don't mind the filming, but...

Steve: Oh, no, it's alright. Um, Jeremy won't eat anything.

Lauren: I've just done enough for us.

Steve: That's fine.

Lauren: Come in.

(Lauren leads Steve into the flat. Jeremy follows slowly, as Lee stares at the camera uneasily.)

Jeremy: Hi.

Lee: Hi.

Lauren: Have a seat.

Steve: Thank you.

Lauren: Here you go. How's your arm doing?

Steve: Oh, it's much better.

Lauren: Yeah?

Steve: I'll hopefully have it off soon.

Lauren: Great. Well, why don't you take a seat? I'll take your jacket. (Takes off Steve's jacket.) There you go. Do you know, I think that this is gonna be great; you know, really nice surprise for Charlie.

(Lauren puts Steve's jacket down as he sits at the table.)

Steve: Yeah, I hope so.

Lauren: Let me know if you want anything; I'll be back in a minute, alright? (Goes into the kitchen.)

Steve: Thank you.

(Lee walks into the kitchen after Lauren. Jeremy walks over to Steve to peer into the kitchen as Lee and Lauren talk.)

Lee: What are you doing?

Lauren: Spag Bol a la Lauren?

Lee: No. Gavin's coming 'round tonight.

Lauren: What's that?

Lee: Gavin's coming 'round, Lauren. With Charlie here, tonight?

Lauren: I think you've got your facts wrong, bro.

Lee: No, Lauren...

Lauren: Yeah, I'll sort it out. (Takes two bottles of water out to Steve.) Still or sparkling?

Steve: Oh! Uh, you got anything in red?

(The doorbell rings and Lee runs to answer it.)

Lauren: Sure. One sec. (Goes back into the kitchen.)

Steve: Why don't you go and take a seat? Uh, Vinto?

(Gavin enters, carrying a bottle of wine and a bouquet of roses.)

Gavin: Oh, hey mate, how are you doing?

Lee: Gavin! Alright, just before you--

Gavin: Hi, Charlie!

(Steve stands as Gavin enters the living room.)

Steve: What's going on here?

Gavin: What's he doing here?

Lee: I was gonna tell you--

(Everyone begins talking at once.)

Gavin and Steve: Why is he here?

Gavin: Why is he here? You set this up.

Lauren: I got you that wine. Do you want ice in this?

Gavin: Why is he here? You said

Steve: What is he doing here? I thought you said we were giving Charlie a surprise date? And then you bring him?

Gavin: Yeah, but you set this up. Where's Charlie?

Lauren: Yeah, Charlie'll be so pleased when she sees you, you know, surprised?

Steve: And then you bring him?

Lauren: Yeah, Charlie's...

Gavin: Where's Charlie, anyway?

Lauren: Are you staying?

Gavin: Yeah.

(Jeremy lowers the camera. Cut to Lee carrying out the roses in a vase. Everyone is sitting in the living room, while Lauren is on the phone.)

Lee: These are really lovely, Gav. You shouldn't have.

Gavin: I didn't, Lee.

(Jeremy reaches out for a nut and Lauren slaps his hand.)

Lauren: Oi! You're not eating!

Gavin: Sorry, who exactly are you, anyway?

Jeremy: Hi. Uh, I'm Jeremy. Nice to meet you.

(Jeremy holds out his hand. Gavin nods and grabs a few nuts from the table.)

Lauren: Look, I've tried to call her, but she's not answering.

Lee: Right. Um, why don't we all just go and sit at the table and have some happy starters?

Lauren: Right, come on.

(Everyone gets up. Cut to a shot of the kitchen. Lee emerges, carrying a plate of nachos.)

Lee: Ta-da! Happy starters!

(Lee sits at the table.)

Steve: (Takes a nacho.) Thank you.

Lee: So, Steve, have you had a nice week?

Steve: Yeah, you could call it that. I feel it's the beginning of something special. We've been making some videos, as well.

Gavin: Yeah? I've, uh, I've been "making some videos", too!

Steve: Down at the Job Centre?

Gavin: Yep.

Steve: Is that what they're looking for? That kind of skill set?

Gavin: Well, to be honest, Steve, I've run out of things to take a piss on over, after I've finished with your piece of crap.

(Gavin and Steve start shouting at each other.)

Steve: Oh, that's right. I was really hoping for some positive feedback from you.

Gavin: Oh, no, I could definitely smell there was something about it-- No, I could definitely there is smell something happening.

Steve: It's really valued a decent appraisal from someone like you. It's unfluencing a world-changing movement. I don't believe this.

Gavin: It's all a bag of crap. No offense. This is actually delicious, but why don't you just call it the Hymn of Two?

Steve: People like you--

Gavin: Call it the Hymn of Two--

Lauren: Guys! Guys, it's charlie! (Answers the phone.) Hey, babe. Do you have to? Can't you just do it on Monday, or work late next week? Eleven?

Gavin: Great... It's only a Friday night.

Steve: Yeah, shame.

Lauren: Bye. (Puts the phone down.)

Steve: We'll just have to, uh, join up some other time.

Gavin: "Join up"? You mean "connect" with you, don't you?

Steve: No...

Gavin: Yes you do! You tell me you didn't want Charlie here so she can join your co- Cult Steve? (Laughs.) Yes you did! You freak!

Steve: (Gets up.) You carry on your pathetic lily-eyed infatuation with Charlie, okay?

Gavin: Well, no, I wouldn't want to do anything to disrupt the- the Terrestrial Network.

Steve: The Celestial Network.

Gavin: That sounds fantastic. Can you get Channel Five on that? They'd love it in a CSI: Miami, you tosser. And you. See you later, it's been a blast. (Leaves.)

Steve: (Sighs.) Lauren, Lee, I'll leave the negativity for another time. (Eats a nacho as he leads the way out.)

Lee: Bye, Jeremy.


Steve said:
Hey Charlie,

I'm sorry I missed you last night. And I'm sorry gavin dragged me down to his level. I'm tired of petty squabbles.

Anyway, I'll hopefully see you soon.


Charlie replied:

Charlie said:
Yeah, I'm sorry I missed you too. Not sorry I missed your slanging match tho.

You two need to just put your dicks away and start acting like grown ups. Please.

Anyway, I'll speak to you soon.